The future will be better tomorrow--Dan Quayle

James and I have been trying to follow all that is going on in the world. In fact, I finally gave in and let him plug in the television so we could watch the debate. After the letter read in church about voting for who we think is best we thought maybe we should take it more serious. But after awhile we needed a laugh, what better way to deal with the economy and presidential election then good ol political jokes. Clearly this leads us to laughing at Dan Quayle quotes. If any of you are like James and don't know Dan Quayle, he was a senator from Illinois as well as the Vice President to George H. W. Bush. Now if you really think about some of what he says is applicable today. We'll try to help you with our thoughts and we hope you find this as funny as we did.

Here's one to explain what on earth is going on with all the banks according to Dan
"Bank failures are caused by depositors who don't deposit enough money to cover losses due to mismanagement. "

If that doesn't explain it, gosh we don't know what does.
And more importantly,
"If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure."

I guess some politicians today are taking this to heart,
"My friends, no matter how rough the road may be, we can and we will, never, never surrender to what is right. "

And just for your comfort,
"The future will be better tomorrow."

Now this surely explains wall street....or the house and the senate,
"They need help, and we have helped, and we are here to help. And we are helping, and we're going to continue to help."

How about,
"This President is going to lead us out of this recovery."

Now here's a few for those of you getting ready to vote, just FYI, in case you don't know,
"This election is about who's going to be the next President of the United States!"
He's joking right?

"We have to do more than just elect a new President if we truly want to change this country. "
You have to admit he may be on to something there.

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."
Glad that's cleared up, and to go with it
"Republicans have been accused of abandoning the poor. It's the other way around. They never vote for us. "

Or how about
"People who bowl, vote. Bowlers are not the cultural elite."
We Bowl, I guess it's safe to say, we're not culturally elite.

One of our favorites,
"What you guys want, I'm for."
Us too.

And in case you haven't decided to vote by now, here's one more reason from Mr. Quayle,
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls. "
So that means vote or the number of people voting will be fewer than if I do vote right?

Here are some favorite miscellaneous quotes,
"For NASA, space is still a high priority. "
"I couldn't help but be impressed by the magnitude of the earthquake. " (No pun intended?)
"I have made good judgements in the past. I have made good judgements in the future."
"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."
"I understand the importance of bondage between parent and child"
"I want to be Robin to Bush's Batman."
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people. "
"If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day. But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime."
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. "
"It's a very good historical book about history. "
"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system. " (Yes, it is)
"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children. "
"Space is almost infinite. As a matter of fact, we think it is infinite. "
"Unfortunately, the people of Louisiana are not racists."

Now in all fairness to Mr. Quayle, we'll give you some of his 'disclaimers'
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."

"When you make as many speeches and you talk as much as I do and you get away from the text, it's always a possibility to get a few words tangled here and there. "

"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."
Don't worry we'll do that for you.

"Every once in a while, you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You can't do that. It's gone, gone forever. "

"I've never professed to be anything but an average student. "

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."

Now I hope none of this has depressed any of you or left you desperate for help, but just in case,
"We will move forward, we will move upward, and yes, we will move onward. "

Thanks Mr. Qualye for entertaining us tonight.
Now, for reasons I choose not to write, I feel a need to write our own disclaimer. This post is dripping with sarcasm, if you are in anyway offended by our making light of people who work hard and do deserve some respect, we agree and we respect the president and those running for what they believe, but we also see no harm in a little humor. For those of you who thought it was a riot, like we did, Google 'Dan Quayle quotes' and you'll see how little we actually put on here. You can laugh for hours.