It really is all about faith

Wednesday was a day for the birds. Seriously! The.worst.day. I hated it. It was so bad when I came home to have lunch with James I was already in tears...and it wasn't even noon! After lunch I had decided that I am the one who decides if I have a good day or a bad and I was trying again. Not easy. I came home from work feeling a little better but still a stinky day, made dinner and went to Zumba (LOVE!) When I came home James was still at the lab and I knew he probably would be for a lot longer so I jumped in a nice warm shower to relax. As I was thinking about the different curve balls that life can throw, and specially the curve balls we had been thrown, and how to endure those trials with faith despite how hard they can seem at the time. As I was thinking, it occurred to me, it really is ALL about our faith. It was really kind of an epiphany to me and I'm sure anyone reading this has it figured out much better than I do. But I thought as frustrating as our trials can be I do know that Heavenly Father's time table has much more wisdom than mine. Even though the waits can be the hardest I know that he knows when things are best for us. I hope I can be better at trusting that time table and being patient with it.
The next day at work I was listening to the conference reports I have on my phone from the October 2010 General conference and something Richard C. Edgely said stuck me. He said:

Because of the conflicts and challenges we face in today’s world, I wish to suggest a single choice—a choice of peace and protection and a choice that is appropriate for all. That choice is faith. Be aware that faith is not a free gift given without thought, desire, or effort. It does not come as the dew falls from heaven. The Savior said, “Come unto me” (Matthew 11:28) and “Knock, and it shall be [given] you” (Matthew 7:7). These are action verbs—come, knock. They are choices. So I say, choose faith. Choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the unknown and the unseen, and choose faith over pessimism.

Alma’s classic discussion on faith, as recorded in the 32nd chapter of Alma in the Book of Mormon, is a series of choices to ensure the development and the preservation of our faith. Alma gave us a directive to choose. His were words of action initiated by choosing. He used the words awake, arouse, experiment, exercise, desire, work, and plant. Then Alma explained that if we make these choices and do not cast the seed out by unbelief, then “it will begin to swell within [our] breasts” (Alma 32:28).

Yes, faith is a choice, and it must be sought after and developed. Thus, we are responsible for our own faith. We are also responsible for our lack of faith. The choice is yours.

I think what's important for me to remember is that the choice is mine. And today I am choosing faith and I hope that as he says "I can work through the struggles and difficulties in life with peace and assurance."