The wait

You know the feeling you're watching a great movie. Suspense. You've been on the edge of your seat with a white-knuckled grip on the arm rest with your left hand. Your unsuspecting seat guest has half-moon patterns on his left arm, signs of your ever tightening claw hold. You can't take the suspense any longer. The movie climaxes. The good guys win. The hero and the damsel kiss and they all live happily ever after. The end....ALMOST!
I feel like I have been nearly suffocating in this type of movie for round about 2 and a 1/2 months. I've been going crazy, and I sure hope James' arm is OK!(alright that one was a joke, I'm really not clawing him.) One new pair of dress pants, 10 interviews, 10 weeks plus one long spring break of waiting equal what you ask. Do you have any clue what I am talking about? Well maybe if we have chatted in the last 2 months you do but other wise you probably think that I am going on like some crazed lunatic about the recent bench warrant that has just been put out for me. No, hardly that bad, in fact, quite the opposite. With the prison analogy I guess it is safe to say for the last 10 weeks I have been a prisoner. A prisoner of the wardens of the social work program at Utah State. The same wardens who are about to put me on parole for good behavior (or at least good grades). That's right. Tomorrow all this suspenseful waiting will come to and end. Are you sitting on the edge yet? Wondering what on earth I am ranting about? I hope so because that was the point. To help you feel the suspense I can hardly sit through for the next 12.75 hours. No, it's not everyone in my house who is this anxious, just me. What's that you say? O, maybe I should visit with one of those social workers or maybe a psychologist...spare me I'm going straight to the psychiatrist and sending those teachers the bill. It's just me that's going crazy. James is calmly sitting next to me reading about blacks or inequality or some other form of injustice I'm sure he'll tell me about as soon as he is done.
Alright, I give, stop clawing me from your tension. Tomorrow I am finally finding out where my practicum placement for next year will be.

• Let me guess the last thought you just had was big whoop-di-doo. Well this is big. I interviewed at 10 different agencies in January, then again with my teachers in February (and I have another as soon as I find out where I'm headed), all in preparation for this big step. My senior year at college. The year where I actually get to be a social worker, not just read the books. Hallelujahs can be heard. Tomorrow at 12:30 I will know if I got my 1st choice (which was really the only one I want, need, pray for...). It's the academy awards of the social work practicum. It won't be on ABC...SORRY! I would tell you what my first choice is but I don't want to jinx myself this close to the final. OK, I know that was silly superstition, but I don't want to take any risks. Besides that I don't want you to feel pity for me if I don't get it. But I so strongly want it I can taste it! And o it tastes like a delicious blue popsicle on a Saturday evening in August while you are watching the sunset after a delicious BBQ preparing for fireworks. Ya that much! Anyway, now that I have written this novel about something I could have written in a few sentences I'll outline the main ideas (after all I am a student it's what I do best)
• I have been waiting a very long time to hear where I'll be for my placement next year.
• I'm extremely excited/nervous to find out
• I want my #1 choice really bad
• Tomorrow at noon I find out
• No one reads this blog

And that's a wrap.